The Great Prank War
by DarkStarr7713
Summary: Fred and George have done it now. They've gone and called Remus and Sirius OLD! around OotP. NO PAIRING! just some fun for my friend's b-day. Rated T for swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: k, heres my first attempt at a Harry Potter fanfic. It takes place pre-OotP. Umm, like the summary said, no pairings, but u Remus/Sirius shippers can pretend, since I read some parts over and they _could _hint of slash. It wasnt intended. ANYWAY! This is for GalaxyDefenderV.1 ?........ seriously? _Thats _ur name? o.0? And I thought _I _was a nutter........ ^^ im just joking Emily! =D HAPPY B-DAY!!!!**

**NOTE: hey, emily? I _would _get u the rights 2 HP(_and _the puppies!) but I dont own them. Yea, im sad 2. **

Chapter 1

"Please, Remus?" Remus sighed.

"Sirius......" he growled. Sirius looked at him with puppy-eyes, begging him to reconsider.

"Pleeeeeeeeese?" Sirius whined. Remus groaned.

"Absolutely NOT! It's _dangerous! _People could _see _you!" Sirius frowned.

"I could take some Polyjuice Potion! Or.......or.....I could change into Padfoot! There's nothing _unusual _about an _old man _walking his _dog_! It could _work _Moony! I just wanna go _outside_......" Sirius trailed off and Remus sighed again.

"I know Padfoot, b-."

"MOONY?!" cried a voice while another yelled, "PADFOOT?!" Remus and Sirius turned around to see the Weasley twins, Fred and George , gaping at them.

"What?" Sirius growled, annoyed. He had been so _close _at convincing Remus into letting him go outside! Fred, or was it George?, recovered first, and asked,

"_You're _the creators of The Marauder's Map?!" Remus' brow furrowed.

"How did you find out about the map? Did Harry show you?" The twins snorted.

"Harry? HA! We _gave _it to Harry!" said one.

"Yeah, we knicked it from Flich's office," said the other.

"First year. But seeing as we,"

"Memorized all the passages,"

"We gave it to him,"

"So that he could have success,"

"In MISCHIEF!" the twins finished, smirking. Remus raised an eyebrow as Sirius whistled softly.

"You gotta hand it to them, Moony. That's up to Maraudering Standards!" Remus rolled his eyes, and was about to retort, when the twins spoke up.

"Maraudering standards? Well. Speaking of "Maraudering Standards", Fred, I don't think _Moony _and _Padfoot_ are up to par anymore."

"Do you mean to say, George, that you think that Remus and Sirius are just too _old_ for pranking and should therefore retire and leave the pranking to us?" George nodded, an evil smirk forming on his face.

"Definitely Fred." Before Remus or Sirius could react, both Fred and George left, laughing. Sirius grimaced.

"Old, my ass! I'll show _them _old." he muttered darkly.

"Sirius......." Remus said slowly.

"What?!" Sirius snapped. "And don't you _dare _say that I can't hex their asses into next week!...." Remus cut him off.

"I wasn't going to say that, Padfoot, actually I was going to suggest......" Remus lowered his voice as he and Sirius plotted revenge on the unsuspecting Weasley twins.

**AN: and i'll leave it at that nice little cliffie! Really, I just wanted to get this posted by emily's b-day...... so........... i'll have the rest up b4 the end of....May. Yea. IF I get reviews! ^_~**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N. Sry for the wait everyone! so, here's chapter 2! oh, and the swearing REALLY comes into play! ^^ yay!**

The twins sat across from Remus and Sirius, grinning. There had been no attempt all day of a possible retaliation and Fred and George had relaxed. Everyone in attendance shifted in their seats, nervous at the evident rivalry between the four.

"Evening Remus, Sirius." chorused the twins, mockery laced in their cheerful tone. To their surprise, Remus and Sirius both smiled warmly.

"Good evening Fred, George." said both of them before taking a portion of Molly's dinner and digging in. Fred and George grimaced in confusion, but shook it off. Both of them took large portions as they were both _starving_. But they noticed something was wrong when they saw that their food fell off their utensils every time they raised the food up to their lips. They tried drinking from their cups as well, but the liquid disappeared before they could take a sip. Swearing under their breath, they glanced at the two men across from them. Sirius was whispering to Remus and Remus laughed. Not once did they glance over to the twins. The twins looked at the others around them. No one seemed to notice the twins predicament.

"This is ridiculous. The plates, cups, and utensils _must _be enchanted." whispered George. Fred nodded. With a groan, they both rose from the table and cleared their dishes of food. When they did, flowing, curvy handwriting, much like the handwriting on the Map, appeared on the plates.

_'Messers. Moony and Padfoot declare _

_that they are __**NOT **__old and that _

_this little prank is not the worst that they could do._

_You have been warned.'_

At the bottom were two paw prints. Fred and George glanced up and saw Remus and Sirius smirking at them. Fred and George frowned.

"This calls for retaliation, eh, Fred?"

"Definitely George. Something memorable." They stalked off to their room to plan.

The next morning Fred, George, and Remus woke up at the sound of someone yelling profanities. They were all sleeping on the top floor, so, the other occupants of the house did not wake. Thinking someone had been hurt, Remus bolted out of his room and crashed right into Sirius.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER! Oh... It's just you, Moony." Remus raised his eyebrow.

"I would have to assume that it was_ you_, Sirius, who woke me up?"

"Sorry." Sirius muttered as he stood up and helped Remus up as well. "But look!" he pointed to his robes. Remus put a hand over his mouth trying to contain his laughter. It didn't work. Sirius frowned.

"I'm glad you think it's soooo funny, Moony. Me and my Slytherin green robes. Well, at least I'm not wearing _lavender." _Remus looked down and groaned. He went to take it off when Sirius stopped him.

"DON'T! It'll change your shirt too!" Remus stopped and looked at Sirius again. He chuckled. Sirius pouted and crossed his arms.

"IT'S _NOT_ FUNNY! This is ridiculous. _AND_ look at what they wrote on the back! They had the _nerve_ to sign it!... My favorite shirt too..." Sirius turned around so Remus could read the inscription on the back.

_'The terrible twins, Fred and George, gladly accept your challenge, _

_and hope that you have one hell of a time thinking up something better. _

_Though, if you want to surrender, we understand._

_~Fred _

_~George'_

When Remus had finished reading the paragraph aloud, they heard laughter from down the hall. Sirius and Remus turned around to see Fred and George smiling at them. Sirius let out a dog-like growl.

"I'm going to _kill_ them!" Sirius lunged and the twins jumped back, eyes wide. Remus struggled to hold Sirius back.

"Sirius! Calm yourself!" Remus hissed. Fred and George stuck out their tongues.

"Yeah!"

"Heel boy!" they jeered. Sirius stopped struggling and snarled. Remus was about to say something, but was interrupted by Molly calling them down to breakfast.

"This is war!" Sirius growled.

"Then let the games begin!" cried out the twins, laughing. They disapparated and appeared downstairs. Remus and Sirius looked at each other and slowly walked down the stairs.

"You know Remus, lavender really brings out the color of your eyes." Sirius remarked, trying hold back his laughter. Remus frowned.

"You know, _Sirius_, I wouldn't be surprised if we found out that your mother was a Seer." he muttered. Sirius cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Why would that be Remus?" Remus snorted.

"Because she must have been to name you. _That_, or she just acknowledged her cruelty."

"What? My name? Sirius? Cause I get the "Seer" thing, but not the "cruelty" thing. " Remus rolled his eyes.

"You can be very dense sometimes Sirius. It's not so much your first name as your initials, S.O.B." Silence followed. Then Sirius broke into a wide grin and nodded.

"That's true! And being the Son Of a Bitch that I am, I would be forever shamed if we could not come up with something better." Remus laughed.

"Oh we will." They walked into the kitchen, ignoring all the stares and comments, (except for a tripping hex used on Severus by Sirius that caused a yelling match between the two with Molly and Remus trying to break it up...but that was normal anyway) and acted throughout the day as if they weren't wearing horrendous (to them at least) colored robes. Fred and George's jaws dropped.

**AN: IM SOOOOO SRY EVERYONE! I've been soooooooooooooooo buzy! But I come back with gifts! I have about 3? more chapters left and an epilogue that tells who the (real) winners were! ^^ but plz, review, and tell me who u want 2 win!**

**A) Fred and George**

**B) Remus and Sirius**

**C)Molly and Minerva**

**I may or may not listen to the votes. XD Darkstarr out.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: heres another chapter 2 make up 4 my laziness! ^^ love u all! **

**Oh and thankz 2 my reviewers from ch. 1! ~ EvilWerewolfPirate (cool name! ^^), livininadream (ur just awesome cause u love HP & LOTR!), houquilter (ur review made my day! XD), Becksibee From Gryffindor (so sry I didn't make the deadline 4 ur b-day! =(... ), risingsundynasty (I think everyone's gonna get it... :D ), Aebbe (ur my new fav person. Hope u like the rest!), Emily, (I expected u 2 review ur own damn b-day fic! XD), vjhgvjh (maybe I will, maybe I won't let them win!), If Only97 (I sure damn hope it's hilarious!), wordlover14 (dont we all love Sirius and Remus? I love remus more... ^^) AND CH.2 (ALREADY?) bren (I dont know what the hell "B" means, but i'll take it as something positive) and super points to kri444 for being the only one who has reviewed twice so far. U ROC! Woo! Onward!**

"You _sure_ this will work Moony?"

"Of _course_, Padfoot."

"Why can't we go along with _my_ plan?"

"That was _way_ to emotionally scarring for everyone involved."

"Oh, and _yours_ isn't?"

"Just to _them_." Fred and George gulped. What were they planning? They hadn't done anything _that_ bad to them! For the rest of the day, and the following week, Fred and George avoided Remus and Sirius like the plague. If Remus or Sirius even did so much as enter the same room as them, Fred and George (since they were always together) would stop whatever they were doing and apparate away. This strange behavior earned many confused looks aimed at Remus and Sirius who, in turn, just smiled and shrugged, amused at the twins nervousness. They knew that Fred and George had been eavesdropping on them and had purposely talked louder. Remus had insisted that it would make the surprise of carrying out the prank even greater. After a straining _two weeks _of extreme paranoia, Fred and George began to relax again. They woke up one bright a cheerful Saturday morning and found, to their delight, that they had been able to, not only sleep in, but had been able to avoid a shopping trip.

_' Dear Fred and George,_

_Remus and Sirius convinced me to let you sleep in on account of how much you've helped them lately. I'm glad to hear that you have been productive! The rest of us are out getting a start on buying new supplies for school and will be back around noon. _

**_Behave _**_for them!_

_Love, Mum.'_

At the bottom of the letter there was some more writing, but in a different hand.

_' Aww. Your mummy sends her love to her annoying, and rude, ickle Freddy and George-ikins! Well, you better behave! Today is going to be _**_very _**_eventful, so, you might as well eat breakfast before Molly and the rest of them get home! ~Sirius'_

Before continuing reading the letter, the twins glanced at the clock. It was 11:00am. They figured they had time and read on.

_' Good morning Fred and George. So sorry about Sirius. He's still annoyed about the 'old' comment. And Sirius, (knowing that you will insist on bringing it upstairs) you are annoying and rude at the best of times as well. Don't try to deny it! Anyway, you two better come downstairs quick. I don't think the food will last very long seeing as Sirius is content on stuffing his face. ~Remus_

_HEY!...I take offense to that. I'm not "stuffing my face" thank you very much! ~S~'_

The twins laughed. They never could have told that their quiet professor of two years past could have been capable of such subtle hilarity! The two raced down the stairs after they had changed out of their night clothes. When they ran into the kitchen, they saw two steaming plates of food on the table. Remus and Sirius were sitting across from the plates, sipping tea (Remus) and drinking coffee (Sirius). Both were talking quietly to each other, and so they did not notice that Fred and George had come in. Only when Fred and George had plopped down in their chairs did Remus acknowledge their presence with a smile. Fred shivered.

"It's a bit cold, isn't it?" he asked aloud. George paused for a bit and rubbed his arms.

"Yea. It is." Sirius looked up at the twins and choked on his coffee.

"Are you alright Sirius?" asked Remus, concerned. Sirius waved a hand.

"It went down the wrong pipe. I'm fine. But, can I talk to you for a sec, Remus?" Sirius hacked. Remus nodded and followed Sirius into the other room. Fred and George looked at each other, eyebrows raised for a moment, but then shrugged and went back to eating.

**AN: ;) u'll find out what Remus & Sirius (well, really Sirius cause he was the one who cast the spell...) did 2 the twins later! **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: one more for u all! ^^ im gonna make a picture of all four of them in my fav of their "pranked" states. =D bout 1 or 2 more chapters after this! **

When Remus closed the door in the other room. Sirius muttered a silencing spell (using Remus' wand) before laughing. Remus sat down in a chair and chuckled. Sirius fell into another chair and wiped the tears from his eyes as his laughter mellowed down to soft chuckles.

"Oh my... Moony! You didn't say the spell would do _that_! I wondered about that concealment charm! They are going to _freak _when they find out! You are _evil_!" Remus smiled.

"Wait until you see what's written on their backs." Sirius grinned.

"What does it say?" he asked eagerly. Remus closed his eyes, trying to remember.

"It says 'You dared to change our outfits, so we changed yours. An eye for an eye respectfully. We applaud your outstanding wandwork though. And we _will _be expecting a n astounding retaliation and nothing less. Good luck! ~Moony and Padfoot~' I think it sends a good message. They _have _shown amazing skill so far, so it would be damaging to us to underestimate them. I also think it's fair to expect absolutely anything from them." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Your professor side is showing, Moony." Remus smiled.

"Of course Sirius. To win, we have to think logically. Now, let's go witness the horror we have caused." Remus checked his watch. "They'll be coming home soon and the charm will be wearing off." They left the "living room" and went into the "lounge". They waited quietly for the others to come back. Soon, Molly, Arthur, Harry, Hermione, Ginny, and Ron burst through the fireplace with a blast of green flame. Remus being the gentleman that he was, sprang up to help them with the numerous packages that they had purchased in Diagon Alley.

"Oh, thank you Remus!" exclaimed Molly, who was looking a bit flustered.

"Not a problem, Molly. Where am I top put these?" he asked.

"The kitchen's fine." Molly replied, making her way through the door while Arthur, Harry, Hermione, Ginny and Ron followed, muttering their greetings as they passed. Remus and Sirius exchanged amused glances, for they knew what was in store as to the fact that Fred and George were still eating breakfast. They rushed into the kitchen (well, the apparated), when they heard Molly give an ungodly shriek.

"Molly, what's wrong?" inquired Remus, as he put the boxes he was carrying, down. Molly ignored him as she continued to gape at Fred and George.

"**WHAT **_**ARE**_** YOU WEARING?**" Molly screeched as she pointed at Fred and George. Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny, who had come running when they had heard Mrs. Weasley scream, burst into laughter when they saw the twins' outfits. Arthur himself, chuckled a bit until Molly shot him a nasty glare. Confused, the twins asked,

"What?" Molly lost it.

"What? WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, _WHAT? _LOOK AT YOUR CLOTHES!" The twins looked down and cried out in alarm. Their clothes had been transformed into what some would say, for lack of a better term, _slutty _school girl outfits. _Green _and _silver _slutty school girl outfits.

"Fred!" George cried. "Look at the back!" Fred read the message. His eyes quickly widened and then narrowed.

"We'll _kill _you!" They cried in unison and lunged at Remus and Sirius, who had been smiling the entire time. But before the twins could land a blow, Remus put them in a full-body bind.

"Now ladies," said Sirius, chuckling. He received looks of pure hatred from the two.

"_Sirius._" Remus growled. He looked at the twins. "We warned you. Enjoy the outfits. They're permanent. You'll have them for the rest of the day." He swiftly walked out of the room. Sirius grinned at the two and said,

"And remember, _I _may have cast the spell, but Moony told me it." With a wink, he too, had left. Fred and George were released from their bonds. Everyone was shocked into silence from what Sirius had said. Who would have thought that _Remus_, the gentleman and former soft-spoken professor, could be so, so, evil and so capable of such humiliation? Molly broke the silence, answering everyone's unasked question.

"Well, he _was _a Marauder. But I never imagined..." Arthur spoke next.

"You never knew that it was actually _Remus _who was the mastermind behind all of the difficult pranks. Like the 'Great Halloween Fiasco of '75'. _That _was funny. But what _I _would like to know is _why _they started pranking you two. I have a feeling that it wasn't just retaliation for _their _clothes." Everyone's attention turned towards Fred and George.

"Well, you see..."

"We kinda,"

"Well, we kinda,"

"Said that they were too old for pranking."

"Yea..." They said with embarrassed frowns. Molly and Arthur looked at each other.

"Knowing Sirius,"

"That was,"

"A big mistake." Fred and George gulped and looked down at their outfits.

"So we noticed."

**AN: I hope that they dont sound cruel! & I hope that im "in character". Oh well. Hope u guys like it! Review! ^^**


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